she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
