FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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