Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
