I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
