i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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