So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
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