Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
