I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
