Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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