I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
3 2 1 whiskey
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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