Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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