WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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