There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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