Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
last night I used snow as a chaser
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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