nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
