That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
