I'm going to jail i love you
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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