Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
