Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
