Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
