Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
