me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
