then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
