Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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