The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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