Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
