So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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