so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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