my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
