but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
