I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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