dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
