well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
whose parrot is this?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Two words: nipple clamps
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