So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think I won the penis lottery.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
