So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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