if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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