she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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