awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
