He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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