well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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