I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
