Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
