She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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