I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
