We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
