Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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