I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
