I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My liver just broke up with me...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
