My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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