So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
